A label Tessa and Kelly came up with for me, because I have so many platonic one-night stands.¹

Sure enough, I had platonically “fucked,” without entering into a close social relationship with, half of the people in the room.

“We had a one night stand,” one friend realizes.

“I had mine over the summer,” adds another.

“Tessa is your platonic hookup,” says Kelly.

In the past few days, I realized just how many people this applied to. Teammates, dormmates, classmates, club members, friends of friends, anyone I could get to. People who I had spoken to once, who now say hi to me, but who aren't "friends." Former platonic hookups. Not that I wouldn't want to be friends, or talk more with them, just that I don't: once is easy. Consistency takes effort and circumstances lining up.

I enjoy good conversations with good people more than anything else, often setting aside work or sleep in pursuit of it. During Phillipian, I went on for hours every single night; over breaks and now without Phillipian, I rotate through friends old and new on Messenger. I flaunt my platonic promiscuity and always seek it, push every comment and conversation towards an earnest, meaningful, personal, vulnerable one. In group settings, in loud, shallow conversations, I am frustrated and seek more. I never get tired of it, I always hunger for more. Am I a platonic sex addict?

It feels weirdly validating, to have a label that people think about and then enthusiastically assign to me. Being a slut implies having power, however twistedly.² I had really wanted to get better at reaching out to people, getting people to trust me. I wanted to be like Arno, the person everyone could go to for advice and support. At times I felt like I had done it — though for sure with plenty left to learn from his charisma and power to reassure — except Arno had had a rock solid, explosively vibrant friend group. I don’t. I’m just a platonic slut.³

“I’d be down to make it a two night stand,” a friend tells me.

Maybe being a platonic slut isn’t so bad.

Footnotes

1. The root of this parallel is conflict of social expectation vs. what the actual intense part is/what is actually valued. In romance, we're traditionally pressured to enter long-term relationships, marry someone, and start a family. Hookups avert all this and just go straight to sex/physical affection. Similarly, the social norm is to be part of a friend group, have best friends to confide everything in, etc. My method of just seeking connections with anyone skips all this and gets straight to emotional vulnerability and trust — thus, platonic hookups, and me often seeking these instead of normal social relationships making me a platonic slut. ↩

2. A friend pointed out that the label "slut," in addition to declaring prosmicuity, traditionally also connotes uncleanliness, immorality, etc., and is rooted in/perpetuates misogny. It's important to acknowledge that my friends came up with "platonic slut" as a label for me and I've been able to embrace it only because "slut" has been reclaimed from its derogatory nature by movements for sex positivity, women's empowerment, etc. ↩

3. Arno is like...healthy platonic polyamority with a main family? ↩